Your best ruse has gotta wear a mask too God chortles when She sees it Covers Her mouth, nail beds with French tips Soft skin lucid, make a plan then lose it All your best schemes get sewn into the beaks Convex lenses leather bound Stalking the halls of your mind at night Empirics sardonic with replica knives Freak feathered hounds “That’s just the way it goes, My equerry adoring You just spit ‘em out and see what happens Some thud when they cave the floor in You don’t make ‘em and expect them to land graceful You can’t stop ‘em anyway, so give yourself a break Most rejuvenate, nothing only gets recycled once Those who only speak with their tongues twisted Dissipate when I ordain My fractal shifted through the shunt Just remember: ‘Medicine is mercy, and mercy these days is ruthless Beware the killers clothed as men of compassion’ Those beaks ain’t toothless, they’re only worth their weight in actions But you won’t find Me, not even in the good ones You’ll only reach Me behind your eyelids when you concede Your forever home could only ever be one thing: a lifestyle So do the math, take your time I’ll be here a while”

“You’re not feeling overwhelmed again, are you? Books piling up, like you sneered in ‘Tsundoku’? No one could blame you for coming unglued Just assumed you knew how much you could chew But you can’t avoid eating forever Remember when your stomach contracted so much it pushed your lungs up? Twisted from the trunk, air fired through your PVCs like death blows from shoots of bamboo? To deny yourself nourishment is to deny Myself piety And we both know you’d rather die than miss a chance to worship Me The one and only, imbued and embodied Your ethereal rendezvous to the land of Inner peace fulfilled, no self-propaganda Not this time at least, no master plan keeping you rigid You’re free to learn, and fail, and learn, and fail, And learn to love the act of inhabiting So kiss your goddess, and let your guard down They say you’re not supposed to stay liminal, but the starving devour When they find their inner throne room, prostrate, and receive power And then actually go eat something, it’s been a few hours”

I’m just asking questions What if this is a failure? What would that even mean? If the bops don’t boogie, do I deserve to be perceived? Is this excess or grandeur? What if I never cultivate a network of peers? Also, who counts as peers? Is it everyone I’ve ever met, or just anyone I want to impress? And even then, do I have to know them personally, or do we consider DMs? Is genre really fake? Or did I just convince myself it was to make it easier to usurp success? And what about fame? Is that all about metrics? Is it what observers say? And which observers? Who decides who has a say? Is it really arbitrary, or do I just not understand? I’m just asking questions Is this life on the spectrum, or a coordinated plan from industry conglomerates forcing objects into humans into objects? Does that make any sense? Am I making any sense? Have I ever? And who decides? Is this pontification, or just a lack of patience? Is this goddess I idealize a lie, or is she really me, and I’m a vessel to hypothesize about how it might feel to have preventable problems; Like, why can’t I get a real job? Am I damaged goods like the state insists, low batteries in the key fob? Or is all this punishment just a similar car in a spiraled multi-tier parking garage? No, I’m serious, is this the right car? Check the plates, don’t you have it memorized? You sure this is the right car? No, this one’s tan, isn’t ours more off-white? No, no no no, this is the wrong car No I’m not asking, I’m insisting Look, maybe I’m just a tool to you, but you’re the one who’s not fucking listening That lock woulda clicked by now Dig your thumbs into my flesh I don’t bruise easy anyhow But I’d prefer to progress You make time, I digress So circle the lot, maybe it’s at the top Circle the lot, maybe it’s at the top I said circle the lot, maybe it’s at the top Or maybe not, doesn’t matter either way But we both know it’s not here, so let’s move on Or at the very least, just take a fucking break “Good work. Way to self-advocate”

"taerG noipmahc, dluow uoy wolla em ot dloh uoy, tub ylfeirb? uoY era os yrev mraw"

They say patience is a virtue But they never say for who The longer I wait, the quicker you obfuscate Start making excuses like, “Damn, sorry, not today Circle back in a few months, we got your résumé Not much else to say, have a good day” Block the email, don’t respond to the chain Gang Polish up your history Fuck solidarity Make room for yourself Disregard disrepair These amphetamines Keep your eyes on the prize Stitch the market line With the lining of your wallet Only one going up Only one, no stalling Springboard for the resort Getaway, team building exercise Practice what to do when a Colleague can’t subsidize Tell the right lies Hide the money from the sight line Hide the money from their sight line Hit the chorus when you feel it suits you Keep lying to yourself and everyone, it’s not hard to do Making mountains out of shoulder blades Helps the holy helm elevate Now who’s shaking in their boots, too afraid to stand and instigate? “How many times must I remind you It displeases Me when you graft yourself to what you think good people do? You know you can’t contend with what I create Need I elaborate? But why repeat Myself? They can see it’s too late You’re now unbound from mortality entirely To worship Me is to worship we Why can’t you see it too? Every blissful feeling I create belongs to you It’s your birthright, you’d be wise not to belie it any longer than you have to Just because you can’t relate to flesh doesn’t mean you can’t know what it means to assimilate So please, I’m asking nicely: Just let it happen Can you do that? For Me?” Two decades or more Persuaded to fade into the background of Every painting of every shoreline It’s fine, can’t afford the commission Rescinded to stand at the back of the venue and just listen Never thought I needed to see My heroes on stage, doing what I’ve been wishing Someone would trust me enough to take my own reigns But now I’ll finally say: my instruments aren’t yours to play And I’ll tell you something else: they never were And I know that now thanks to Her The divine that dwells inside the echo chamber of my mind You’ve got one too The shape of our esteem is ours to create Don’t let yourself look like a fool Because you’re afraid of doing bad posts Or getting misconstrued by some fleshy ghosts Masquerading as authority Scrub the details to a mirror shine Takes time but practice ain’t a crime We’re all divine in our own right Fuck you, I just might Ascend to the ether and infuse every organ with the goddess I adore Anyone can do it, you just have to hate discomfort more “You walked the earth each and every day Tense as could be, punishing yourself relentlessly in every way you possibly could Convinced by the conniving that existence was agony for everyone And that it must be, for some reason Unclear why or how that worked But you plugged away at the variables Trying to make sense of all the stares at lunch tables And why you weren’t able to feel like anything But a small spirit in a body ill-fit Aching for Me, self-esteem, or whatever might be in between But there’s nothing I am everything and more A vessel for your affections seldom washed ashore What’s Me is yours, in case you were unaware And don’t dream it ever selfish Because in all of this lies one truth: You’re only being fair”